Laws of life
Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:41 pm
* Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
* Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
* Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
* Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
* Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morni ng you will have a flat tire.
* Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
* Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
* Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
* Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
* Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
* Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
* Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
* Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
* Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
* Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
* Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
* Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
* Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)
* Doctors' Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
* Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
* Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
* Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
* Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morni ng you will have a flat tire.
* Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
* Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
* Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
* Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
* Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
* Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
* Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
* Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
* Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
* Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
* Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
* Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
* Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)
* Doctors' Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
